There are many Marys in my life. My mom, sister and niece are named: Mary Jo, Mary Grace and Mary Faith. My sister MG, introduced me to to Janet Selby, who is an excellent therapeutic massage practitioner. Recently, Janet needed some graphic design help. We agreed to a trade: I would create her business cards, and promotional pieces, she would release my swimmer’s shoulder and sitter’s hips.
During our first meeting about the trade, Janet handed me a bag full of vintage Tarot decks. “These belonged to my sister, I’ve had them since she died and am not sure what to do with them.” Janet invited me to take a look, “Could I sell them?” she wanted to know. I became excited by the decks which were clearly well used. Janet suggested I choose a deck for myself. I asked if I could think about which one I wanted, and offered to do research on the decks’ values.
I shared my findings with Janet. There were several similar decks for sale on Ebay and Etsy; I estimated her Dali Tarot was probably the most valuable. I told her I couldn’t possibly choose one deck, there were four of interest to me for my collection. We agreed on a price.
I chose the Aquarian Fool, Toth, Golden Dawn and Medieval Scapini decks. They are utterly cool, utterly classic! As I set about cleansing and charging them under a full moon, I asked Janet her sister’s name. It was Mary!
I have been integrating Mary’s cards into my practice. Each one is super-charged with her energy; handling her decks is an absolute gift. I wanted to know more about Mary and asked Janet for an interview about her sister. We meet for tea in my kitchen, a couple days after Christmas, and I heard the remarkable story of Mary, JoAnn, and all the members of Janet’s immediate family.
Her full name was Mary Elizabeth Selby, she was known as The Plutonian: a Scorpio through and through. I learned about Mary’s habits. She loved creative and worldly men. Janet is still in touch with some of them. Mary trusted her gut, which was never wrong. She carried Tarot cards with her, everywhere she went. Janet remembers her frequently reading from the Aquarian deck. Her reputation as an intuitive reader developed when she managed a spa at a local resort. Many massage therapists sat for readings by Mary; (in)famous guests sought her advice, taking it to heart and action.
When we first met, I asked Janet how she became a massage therapist and healer, she told me a story that stayed with me. Turns out the story was about Mary! Here’s how Janet tells the story: “The only reason I am a massage therapist today is because of Mary. When she came to visit me at my new place in Norfolk Va I took her down to VA Beach. We passed the A.R.E. and she pointed it out saying how much Rita was crazy about Edgar Cayce. She talked me into going to the visitor center and bookstore. Afterwards she said ‘Apply for a job here. If you work here I feel that it will change (the whole trajectory of) your life.’ I did not apply-it was 24 miles away-and forgot about it but Mary persisted. She called a month later and asked if I had applied, yet. I hadn’t but I made an effort and called the place to be told nothing was available and I promptly forgot about it. About 8 weeks later Mary called again and told me that I needed to physically go there and apply. She had a feeling. Sure enough when I went the next day there were two temporary positions open and I got one. Then they asked me to stay on in a permanent spot and then I learned that they had a massage school on the premises and staff got 50% off tuition! So here I am today!”
Mary was fearless. She took herself to London England as a teenager, earning funds to pay her own way. After a few weeks she returned home to Maryland, but only for a while. She lived many places before settling in Santa Fe to make a life for herself. Her nomadic ways and cross-country move were partly motivated by Mary’s grief and horror at her older sister’s death. JoAnn was a victim of domestic violence. Her murderous husband never really answered sufficiently for his crimes.
Mary lived in Santa Fe from 1974 to 76, when her father called. Mary’s mother was recovering from a stroke and he needed her help. Two years later her mom was recovered, when her father had a major stroke. Mary became the legal guardian of her younger siblings, Janet and Jean.
Mary was a great judge of character and situation. If she had a feeling and shared it, act accordingly. Janet told me: “I certainly looked up to Mary and sought her insights and guidance but she did expect a lot from people in return. Not in a wishy washy way either. She would spell it out for you. Often times I found myself lacking in my ability to meet her expectations or needs.”
Mary was frank. Don’t ask her a question if you don’t want to know the answer. Once, Janet challenged Mary’s support for the ERA. “Why bother?” Mary pulled a copy of the text out of her purse and said “Have you even read it?” One of the many powerful lessons Janet learned from Mary: keep your mouth shut when you don’t have all the information. Indeed.
Mary loved music and film. Janet took Mary to New Zealand for her 50th birthday; Mary made mixed tapes for the journey. She was foiled though, when the rental car had a CD (not cassette) player. Mary came with a sound track! Still, it was a great trip to a place where Mary always wanted to live. She wanted to immigrate to NZ but was discouraged by the restrictive immigration requirements. She was compelled by their progressive laws protecting the environment and women’s rights. Janet said Mary wanted to live in a place with “more sheep than people”.
In the early 70s and 80s, Mary took Janet and Jean to the Kennedy Center to see classic films at the American Film Institute. She loved John Waters and got to meet him at the Baltimore premier of “Desperate Living.” Mary frequently toured her sisters past his home in when she lived there. Mary was a huge fan of Jackie Chan, too. Janet said she would watch his Kung Fu movies with no subtitles or dubbing. Later she and Jean studied Mandarin. Mary advised: “China is the future, the next superpower. You’d better learn Mandarin now before you get left behind.”
Mary passed away far too soon, at the age of 57. She died from Inflammatory Breast Cancer on New Years Day, 2010. I was very sad to learn that her life might have been extended had Mary access to health insurance and other resources for a necessary surgery.